Saturday, June 20, 2009

Excerpt from The Unknown Battle of Krndsdell, Chapter 5

Marzena stood perfectly still, so that in the half-light she was indistinguishable among all of the manikins. He has somehow found this place. Yes, found--the man seemed to be searching as he walked among the trellises, weaved in and out among the statuesque figures. His meandering path seemed random, yet was he getting, on average, closer? Yes, he's a little closer now. Marzena felt a thrill of realization run up her spine. She grasped the little leather pouch hanging around her neck. The Elders will question me, but I will tell them I had no other choice.

She heard footsteps behind her. Not taking the time to look back, with her shaking hands Marzena opened the drawstring on the pouch and searched the contents blindly with her fingers. In spite of her pounding heart she managed to find the second finger-trox. Just then a hand grabbed her shoulder and in a mad panic she slipped the finger-trox into place. In a moment the world around her dissolved and she felt a thrill of acceleration as another world congealed around her.

Marzena now was in a forest, surrounded by trees and foliage--in the exact places where the manikins and trellises had stood. She could still feel a hand on her shoulder and turned now to confront her would-be captor. "You!" she called out in surprise.

The young man blinked his eyes in complete disorientation. "What, how? . . . Where are we?"

Marzena pushed him away. "Why were you following me? I thought you were --"

He was shaking his head. "No, no, I'm not . . ."

Marzena eyed him coldly. "I recognize you now, from the gathering--you were among the cloddses. I remember you . . . but only because of your foolish speaking out of turn. Who are you? You followed me. You actually touched me! Do you know that you have caused me to use a trox, to reveal what should remain hidden? You have threatened the very quarm itself. I must take you back to Leddger to be . . ."

"Wait!" the young man said. "I only approached you because I saw the man, he was searching for you among the mannikins. You were in danger. I only touched you because I wanted to get your attention without making any noise."

Marzena realized she had been confused in her fear and panic. It's true, there must be two separate men involved--the other man was a distance away from me when I felt the touch on my shoulder. "We are safe here," she said. "We have experienced a type-2 transformation to a place completely sealed off from the Durggs. Everything that was there is here, but it is all in a different form now. And that includes the man who was stalking me. He must be here, too. We must try to find him and bring him to Leddger for questioning--if we can recognize him--he will appear very different here because he was not in contact with me at the transformation, as you were. But he cannot threaten us here."

Marzena led the way as they began to walk among the trees, looking carefully at every tree, every piece of foliage. She began to be troubled, as she could find no indication of the man anywhere. "This is not right," she said, and then decided to turn to a lesser mystery: "Now tell me, how did you find your way into the Warehouse?"

"It's true, I followed you. I have been trying to talk to you since the night of the gathering. I know it was foolish to think that . . . you are . . . Well, my name is Taln."

Marzena dismissed the introduction. "How did you get into the Warehouse? It is invisible to all Uninvited."

"I don't know," said Taln. "It was easy. I just . . . followed you."

Taln is an Undiscovered. He knows the quarm without knowing it. Marzena looked at him, but gave no hint of what she was thinking.

4 comments:

  1. really cool.

    Do you have an overall scheme and plot in mind? I sure seems like you do.

    I'm really jealous of your idea to write a book out of order... it's really neat.

    The fantasy is very intriguing. My favorite part is her searching for the stalker among the trees and branches of the forest. I was reading the last half of the passage very quickly because I wanted to find out.

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  2. Actually, I don't have any more than I've actually written in the two chapters I've posted. The rest is completely blank--plot, details, characters, fantasy world. (Except that I've sort of started to develop a possible idea of what the quarm might be, but I'm not very sure about that.)

    I'm also thinking that if I ever did write the other chapters, it might be more effective to read them out of order--in the order that I wrote them. But I'm not sure about that.

    p.s. If you want to know what happened to the stalker, you might skip ahead to chapter 22.

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  3. oooh the story continues... and it's turning into a romance :) (okay, at least a little bit of one). The mannikin scene reminds me of the kind of nightmare I might have-- I'm hiding and he is coming closer every second... this is a fun way to write/read a story.

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  4. So many questions going through my head about what is what and who is who. The mystery this book written in un-sequential order causes is kind of intriguing. I know I've been slow to respond to this chapter, but I would be curious to see what shows up next.

    For this chapter one thing (of many) I'm curious about is what the stalker would be in this type-2 transformation that occurred. An animal? A moving plant? A mannequin? And then there are all the other questions for the other chapters that haven't been written yet.

    This is cool.

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