Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Door to There

The first time Randy stepped through the door to the other world it looked just like this world. Except there were no people there. Randy’s house was just the same, there was the same food in the refrigerator, the phone worked, but no one to call. Randy spent the day there, a very nice quiet day.

Later in the week Randy had a day off, so he went through the door for a second time. The other world looked the same as this one, and there were no people. Except the morning was much nicer and sunny, and the slightest breeze stirred the leaves. Randy spent a while in the garden, reading, dozing. Then he walked to town, visited the shops, but there were no clerks to pay. No one to steal from.

Randy went often now through the door to the other world. All of the objects there were just like they had been in this world at the time he left it, so he never wanted for anything. There were no people, so he had absolute tranquility, complete privacy. He went everywhere, went into houses, drove cars, swam and played and hiked and napped, and found himself enjoying that world very much--much more than he enjoyed this world.
. . . .

When Randy stepped through the door for the one hundredth time, the other world still looked like this one but something was happening. Stark clouds raced across the sky and a brisk wind blew the trees all about. A storm was brewing. It was the first storm he'd ever seen there, in fact, the first bad weather of any kind. Randy found it unsettling and was about to return home, when he heard music, piano music. It was something beautiful and morose. Was it Kavovsky’s Prelude in C Flat Minor? Though Randy was uneasy, he decided that he must follow the sound, reach its source. If he was not really alone in this world, he certainly needed to know it.

The wind blew Randy's hair and shirttails around violently as he made his way down Sixth Street to an old house where the music played. The clouds by now were much darker. Hello? Randy called into the house. Inside he could see but little, and the music itself was thick and dark. Randy had to move slowly and deliberately as he made his way through the halls of the mansion--to the music's source. And there, finally, he saw: the music was coming through an open door, but he recognized that kind of door. It was a door that led to yet another world.

Randy stepped through the door into the other world but it did not look like this world, because, as it turns out, it was no world at all, for there was nothing there, nothing to stand on, nothing to hold onto, no way to turn around, no way to step back to the door, nothing there, nothing but the music, and, no, it was not Kavovsky's Prelude in C Flat Minor.
. . .

Randy was not dreaming. He was awake. This is his world. Randy had always imagined it just as he pleased. But today something he himself had not planned had entered into it. How could this happen? Was it a Dream that came into the daydream through that other door? Did it come in much earlier than that stormy day? Was it there hiding, watching, when he first walked to town, when he first sat out in the garden, when he first checked his telephone? When, really, did Randy leave off making his world, and when did the Dream begin making Randy? What was the flaw in his creating that it should all end like this? How could Randy have kept himself safe?
. . .

Randy stepped through the door, and it looked just like his favorite place, and the waves were breaking, the sun was glistening over the ocean, and the others were splashing and calling to him. Come on Randy! The water's not cold!

12 comments:

  1. This makes me think about several things. It makes me think how we don't always know how the things we wish for will play out, and whether we'd really enjoy a world that we idealize... I can imagine idealizing a world like this in the middle of a busy, less-than ideal day involving screaming toddlers and messes that never get cleaned up, and not a moment of "me time." But reading this helps me realize I'd quickly tire of a world with no people and would want to go back.

    And then there's the frightening idea of going to far (that is what I thought of when he went through the other door...) that removal can result in complete removal. Just loneliness, solitude, maybe encapsulation in your own melancholy?

    That second door was striking. IT was actually frightening to me. The sentence "it was not Kavovsky's Prelude in C flat Minor", that sent chills over me. What was it then? Something infinitely more sad, something disturbingly disjointed... a piece of music as formless as the world he'd found himself in, perhaps?

    Anyway. I'll be thinking about this for a while.

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  2. I don't think Randy was tiring of the world- "he... found himself enjoying that world very much--much more than he enjoyed this world." I think this story is dealing with the intoxication of escape and the illusion of control.

    I am definitely a daydreamer, a pretender, so this story spoke volumes to me of the pull of the worlds inside my head. Very often I'm very involved in planning just exactly how my escape should look or feel, and sometimes I'm actually there for a little while (although I don't often long for absolute solitude- that's probably because I already spend so much time alone). So this story hit a very resounding chord in me about those feelings of escape, and the threshold of falling asleep.

    This line in particular stood out to me: "Was it a Dream that came into the daydream through that other door?" I love the juxtaposition here- on one side of the daydream is our conscious manufacturing of it, our control, and on he other... the totally unknown, and often ominous world of real Dreaming. Now I don't know if you meant it this way, but it seemed to me to be the exact process of going from consciousness to daydreaming to dreaming- I have often done this, and when I wake up afterwards I find that it was a somewhat disturbing experience. All those details I paid so much attention to as I designed my ideal escape are slightly undermined by this uneasy feeling of invasion. And I can never remember when I stopped being in control because it was so gradual.

    Anyway, I loved it! And for the record, the line "and, no, it was not Kavovsky's Prelude in C Flat Minor," gave me the shivers as well!

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  3. This would make such a good short film. There wouldn't have to be any words...

    That idea of the imagination as an escape and the "illusion" of control is awesome. I also feel that a lot. I think I identify less with this imagined world because I think I'm usually not really a solitary creature... my imaginary world would be a world full of people that I could interact with in a constantly positive, happy way. But that could get eerie, too... almost "Truman Show" esque.

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  4. I thought this had to do with video games for a while maybe because that's what we talked about in Ed Psyc today. Video games allow you to have control, but do you then realize that you're giving them control of you as well? They control your reality for a while by giving you a fake reality. When do you lose control to them? We learned that while you play video games, your higher level thinking shuts off. I think dreaming and being creative is part of higher level thinking, and that's when I realized that this wasn't about video games. And for anyone who likes video games, they can be social and the ed. people are talking about creating virtual classrooms. I just feel like entertainment should be more real- but I love watching movies so I guess I'm a bit hypocritical.

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  5. Ooh Nat, I like the video game parallel a lot, even if it wasn't intended when it was written. Video games are a means of escape- and often times shut the player completely off from everyone else- so I think it's a valid comparison. I'll have to think about that some more...

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  6. Yeah, good comparison Nat. As I read the story, I started to think that Randy just got mixed up and he didn't realize when he was in "his" world and when he was in the "other" world. Same with so much entertainment (video games included). So much of it is SUCH a waste of time. But some of it can really help you grow or think. Don't you wish that before you watched a movie, or played a video game, etc, a screen would pop up and tell you if this movie/game/tv show was going to be dumb and to not waste your time? I feel that way after I watch an especially ridiculous movie.

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  7. Thanks for the responses and for reading the story. Some very interesting insights. Part of the life of a story are things that various people respond to and how they add to it in that way. And when someone creates something, part of the meaning of that process is the interaction with others.

    Here is a word about what inspired the story:

    When I am trying to get to sleep I often route my mind away from the practical concerns of the day. I vizualize myself going somewhere, doing something, usually up in the mountains. (It takes discipline for me to do this and not start thinking about all of the stuff that would keep me awake.) As I visualize, usually something shows up in that world that I did not "think" of, and I know that that was a little snatched of a Dream, and that I am close to falling asleep. Actually, this experience is not too different from creating something.

    Anyway, I was looking back on the evolution of the various visualizations I have had on a running basis, and I realized that they always involve me being along, and getting away from people, being somewhere undetected, sometimes people are looking for me but they can't find me. I began to wonder: Is that a good thing to visualize? What does that say about me? So I began the story as kind of an examination of that idea.

    When I finished writing the part about going through the second door, I looked at the story and was dismayed at how dark it had become (and thought that would not be something I would present for someone else to read). And, in fact, I didn't remember planning to have it turn out this way--it just kind of wrote itself after some point. So then I thought, what if the story after that point was kind of a self-relective description of what had happened when I wrote the story, itself.

    And, of course, the concern about isolation was a theme.

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  8. Dad, as I read it, I definitely saw the theme about the peace that you can have when you're alone. I know you and Mother like your space from crowded, populated places, and could see this as a reflection of this.

    At the very end, there were "others" calling out to Randy, though. Interesting.

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  9. P.S. I was pretty sure that Kavovsky doesn't exist. Nice Russian composer name!! :)

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  10. I was hoping Kavovsky was a cool made up name...

    I think that contrasting darkness with light is an effective tool to bring the message across, or just make a story salient. I don't think it's bad at all. Sometimes a broken plot can teach more than a harmonic resolution, too... but I liked how this ended.

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  11. Dad, I'm not able to find it with that link...

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  12. Check this site out for the prelude:

    Try:

    http://www.musicalarchives.com/kavosky/hl=prelude.cflatminor/

    I imagine the prelude is a monster to play, with a key signature of 10 flats. (Ray would be able to sightread it.)

    That should be better.

    (If that doesn't work,it might be a bogus address, etc.)

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